Parent-child Relationship -- Teenagers Technology Use Behavior

By Qianting Lu

Nowadays, teenagers use mobile phones, computers or tablet devices everywhere. Researchers have found that young people born in the age of social media have conflicts with their parents. First of all, social media has changed people's living habits and ways of thinking. Parents usually think that there are many dangers, which will distract children from learning. However, the appeal of social media has made it impossible for teenagers to leave it. What parents worry about is that they are addicted to social media and online games. In order to prevent addictive behaviors, parents have set many rules for children, such as setting the length of games and confiscating electronic devices while studying. Such defensive measures and criticism have led to a sharp increase in the relationship between children and parents, and serious deterioration.

According to the surveys and research, most of the parents pointed out that social media provides teenagers with a virtual space independent of their parents. At the same time, it causes parents to believe that their ability to educate their children has declined. Therefore, families often quarrel because of their children's reliance on social media. In addition, 46.3% of the respondents strongly agree with the problem of social media causing family alienation, 44.6% of the respondents agree, and 7.4% of the respondents agree. 1.1% hold neutral views and 0.6% hold strong opposition views. Most people have a simple attitude that the influence of social media on family relationships is negative. 1


We have to admit that the development of technology has allowed many young people to invest more time and experience on the Internet and electronic products. For this reason, parents have different attitudes towards this phenomenon. Most parents worry that their children are addicted to the Internet, so they will criticize and make rules. The relationship between parents and children becomes delicate.

Extensive academic research has investigated the use of technology in the home. Through interviews and research on 18 parent-child pairs (19 parents; 23 children aged 10-17), we found some technological tensions, including 1) parents’ underestimation of children’s technology use; 2) children’s views, that is, parents Only tell them what behaviors to avoid; 3) Parents and children do not abide by the family's technical rules effectively; 4) Parents and children desire to pay attention to each other. 2



Many researchers have considered the historical evolution of adolescent and family life and have concluded that consistent and realistic expectations for work, attention, and adolescence may help families better manage the use of domestic technology.

Many parents underestimate the number and types of social media sites their children use.

Although parents report that they communicate with their children about technology use, their children say that their parents only tell them which behaviors to avoid.

Parents set family technical rules, but both parents and children violate these rules (for example, not using the phone at the table).

In fact, children do not want to get more attention from their parents by using electronic devices, but they do want to get the attention of their parents in emotion. Stress needs to be released, but for this kind of child, electronic games are a convenient, fast and effective way of release. So when they come into contact with video games under their own pressure and the influence of their peers around them, they will find the ease and sense of accomplishment they want in the video games. If the correct regulations and parents understand, this way of relaxing and releasing pressure is very good.




Studies and surveys have shown that parents’ main concerns are in these areas:3




1. The concealment of the Internet gradually affects parents' supervision of students

Parents are the guardians of their children, and every parent hopes that their children will be successful, so parents will think of various methods to monitor their children, such as: not installing broadband on the home computer, prohibiting children from going to Internet cafes, etc. But these methods treat the symptoms rather than the root cause. Parents cannot always stare at their children, and children also have many ways to deal with their parents' tricks. In addition, online behaviors are hidden. Parents cannot know where and what a child is doing online, which makes parental supervision in vain.


2. The authority of parental knowledge is challenged

In an era where there is no online media and only paper media, parents play multiple roles, not only as a source of economy but also as an authority of knowledge. Basically, you can get answers from the elders of the family or discuss and communicate with the elders of the family. However, the popularity of the Internet has broken this phenomenon. You will know from Baidu that children no longer rely on their parents. Xiaoyuan search questions, homework help, and answer analysis. Children no longer need to ask the elders in the family for advice, and they have lost the thinking of discussing and communicating with others, and the authority of parents in the children's mind is gradually reduced. Generally speaking, the authority of parents in educating their children has three components: the authority of personality, the authority of blood kinship, and the authority of possessing knowledge. The inheritance of knowledge between parents and children in traditional family education has been ruthlessly cut off by the Internet. The loss of parental knowledge and authority weakens the charm of parental personality and increases the difficulty of family education.


3. Network complexity affects positive energy transfer

Undoubtedly, most of the information or knowledge passed by parents to their children is filtered and positive, and has no side effects or harm to the children's physical and mental development. Parents will not spread to their children knowledge or information that is harmful to physical and mental development. Parents act as a "firewall" or "separation wall" in family education. Especially with the continuous improvement of family education theory and the continuous improvement of parents' educational quality, they pay much attention to the impact of bad information on their children and focus on advocating a healthy cultural atmosphere in the family. However, the information on the Internet varies from good to bad, not to mention the huge amount of information, and many more harmful contents.

4. The Internet affects the communication between parents and teenagers

In family education, communication between parents and children is very important, and effective communication can establish a harmonious family education relationship. The temptation of the Internet makes both adults and children addicted to the virtual network. The Internet as a "third party" intervenes in family life, making the family atmosphere obviously indifferent. Especially adolescent children have a rebellious mentality, and they give more free time to the internet. In addition, children like to use Internet language, and the cultural generation gap often makes parents confused, unable to decipher the semantics of Internet language, and communication with children is even impossible.


The purpose of this blog is to allow our parents to correctly handle the behavior of children using electronic products, and to give them more understanding. Families with similar behaviors can improve the relationship between parents and children.

Communicate with the child well, handle the relationship with the child well

In the Internet age, parents must work hard to communicate with their children. Adjusting the relationship between parents and children is an important means to face the impact of the Internet on family education. Parents must work hard to handle the relationship with their children.

For family education in the Internet age, parents must first learn to establish an equal environment with their children. Parents must respect their children's right to use the Internet, and communicate with their children on an equal footing as "friends." When children have troubles in the process of growing up, and when they are confused during the process of surfing the Internet, parents should act as listeners for their children.

Parents should be tolerant of some of the mistakes made by children. When children learn to use the Internet to solve the difficulties they encounter , parents should encourage their children and stimulate their enthusiasm to use the Internet to solve problems.

Parents should use the Internet to communicate with their children, and pass on their good views to their children in the process of communication.

Compared with traditional family education methods, this kind of education method using the Internet has a unique educational effect, and is of great help in resolving the contradiction between the weak parent-child relationship and the strong attractiveness of the Internet.






Reference


1. Lindsay Blackwell, Emma Gardiner, Sarita Schoenebeck. Managing Expectations: Technology Tensions among Parents and Teens. Page 1390. https://dl.acm.org/doi/pdf/10.1145/2818048.2819928


2. Sarita Yardi, Amy Bruckman, Social and Technical Challenges in Parenting Teens’ Social Media Use. Page 3240. https://dl.acm.org/doi/pdf/10.1145/1978942.1979422


3. Brittany Hill. Parents perceptions of the internet and its effects on their children. Page 19-22. https://scholar.utc.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1102&context=honors-theses